


Sleep Is For the Weak (And Those Without Nightmares)

by WanderingKinder



Category: Thomas Sanders/Thomas Sanders (Video Blogging RPF) - Fandom
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Angst, Attempt at angst, Deceit is a jerk, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Polysanders - Freeform, Sanders Sides - Freeform, Sleeplessness, bad coping, mentions of an abusive relationship, polyamsanders - Freeform, probably awful, sleepless virgil, thomas sanders - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-06 14:23:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14058885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WanderingKinder/pseuds/WanderingKinder
Summary: Virgil has, beyond anything else, always aimed to protect Thomas and the other sides. However, threats do not only lurk in the outside world. The anxious side fights hard to guard his loved ones from vicious nightmares that torture him with grueling images and distort his very skin before his eyes. He must not sleep during those dark and frightful nights and let them get to his family. Yet, the longer he remains awake, hiding his duty from his lovers, the harder rest comes by when he can actually allow himself a reprise from his trials. Virgil feels himself wearing thin, weakening in the face of his lonely mission. He feels the darkness of his past slowly close in on him, as long as his caring family remains unaware.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank my beta on this @whatwashernameagain for her amazing job and that kickass summary. She's been a huge help on this writing extravaganza. Check out her stuff! You'll enjoy it waaay more than this

Virgil groans, a shiver violently running up his back. His laptop screen burns brightly, practically searing his eyes, but the setting is already as low as it will go. 

I need to stay awake… he thinks. Not another nightmare…

He checks the clock, then window, one more time, estimating that it’s only about an hour till sunrise. Once the sun is up, I can sleep. Just a few more minutes.

Screaming. Loud screaming. That’s all Virgil can hear. His hands tingle, and he turns his gaze downward, finding them disfigured and black. His fingers are clawed, and covered in dark blood. He whips around, the feeling of his own self slipping away. The screams get louder, and he recognizes them. His screams grow in pitch as sharp iron spikes start searing though his back. He crumples down, down into a darkness he can’t escape from. 

Virgil comes to with a sharp gasp, pulling himself from his desk. Checking the clock, he can see that only about half an hour has passed. He groans and presses his knuckles to his eyes, rubbing furiously. He steels himself, then does a quick grounding exercise. The anxious trait checks his hands first, and almost shouts when he sees the black skin. He stumbles up from his chair at the desk, knocking it back, desperate to get away from his own dark-stained fingers. 

When his hands stay his and don’t morph into the horrid claws, he remembers slowly that he’s still wearing his makeup. Sighing in frustration, he makes his way into the en suite. Flicking on the light makes him flinch, and he shields his face for a moment. He slides open the top drawer, yanking out the pack of makeup wipes Roman had given him. After ripping one out of the snap top, he clicks it back and starts aggressively removing all the shadow and foundation. Virgil attacks his hands as well, removing every trace of black. He rolls the wipe into a ball and chunks it into the trash can, shuffling back into the bedroom. He refuses to glance into the mirror on his way out. The dark purple bruises under his eyes aren’t something he wants to deal with at the moment.

The room is just barely beginning to brighten, the soft gray morning seeping in. Virgil stands in the middle of the room, staring numbly out of the window. The mindscape parallels the real world in a handful of ways, and the passage of time is one of them. As soon as the sun is up and over the horizon, Virgil will be safe to sleep. The nightmares that plague his subconsciousness don’t come after him once the sun rises. And if staying up through the night fighting the nightmares keeps them from Thomas, then he’ll do it. It’s the least he could do for his host for being such an inconvenience. 

A few more minutes pass, and Virgil is pulled from his thoughts at the sound of a door- Patton’s- opening. The moral trait has a big thing for cooking, and Virgil knows that without fail, just like every other morning, Patton will get up, make them all breakfast, and leave a plate on the counter for him. The thought of Patton humming while cooking and making sure Virgil eats makes him smile, a soft chuckle drawing from his chapped lips. He shakes his head and moves to stand in front of the window. Now that Patton is with Thomas, he should be able to catch a few hours of sleep. He pulls the dark curtains over his window and swaps his jeans for a pair of purple thin sweats. He strips off his jacket for a split second, peeling off his undershirt and replacing it with a black one before slipping the hooding back on and zipping it up. 

Virgil pulls back his Jack Skellington blankets and settles into bed against the Sally bedsheets. The sheets had been a gift from Patton after their terrifying visit to his room. Instead of just having a picture of the character, they had her colors all stitched together. Patton made him a card as well, depicting a colored quilt. Red, dark blue, purple plaid and bright blue all stitched together with rainbow thread. The bold lettering had declared that they “held each other together” and a heart of plaid design had been in the middle. The drawing was terrible, but the message behind it had almost brought Virgil to tears. He kept the card in his box with other ones. 

Virgil shuts his eyes, pulling the blankets further up his body, tucking them under his chin. He closes his eyes and wills his mind into blackness.

Except it doesn’t work. 

Virgil rolls over, feeling his skin crawl. He just can’t quite get comfortable. After a few more minutes of tossing and turning, he groans and sits up. He fluffs up the pillows a bit, laying his head back down. He finally feels comfortable, but sleep still won’t come. He feels exhausted, but he can’t seem to find rest. Not again, he groans. This is the third time in a row. Or was it the fourth? He lost track after a while. All he knows for certain is that it’s been too many hours without sleep, days after nights after days again of just being awake. 

Virgil sits up again, on the verge of exhausted tears. He wipes his face as one slides down, frustrated beyond all belief. However, he knows that there’s nothing that can be done. Once he gets like this, too many nights in a row, he just won’t sleep. 

He shoves the blankets back with a huff and drags his jello body out of bed. Virgil shivers and draws his jacket further around his body. His skin feels tingly and cold, a side effect of the insomnia. The anxious trait rubs his hands up and down his arms uselessly, trying to bring warmth to himself. He huffs again and settles down at the desk to do his makeup for the day.

Virgil spends a bit longer in his room before venturing out, fully dressed. His nose leads him to the kitchen, where breakfast is being eaten at the table. 

Patton lights up at seeing him, and a smile draws across his face. “Virgil, you’re up early! It’s so good to have you join us for breakfast! Good morning, baby.” 

Logan nods to Virgil, and he moves to take the open seat between Logan and Patton, across from Roman. Roman reaches across the table and takes Virgil’s hand, brushing a kiss across his knuckles. Virgil rolls his eyes and huffs, drawing a big smile from the romantic. His eyebrows crease together in concern, and he looks down at Virgil’s hand. 

“Why, you’re freezing! What ails you, my dark and stormy cloud?” His names never cease to make Virgil roll his eyes and want to scream. He understands how Logan feels when Patton gets on one of his dad joke kicks. 

Virgil tries to pull his hand back, uncomfortable, but Roman holds fast. Logan picks up his other hand and rubs soothing circles across the back of it absently, inspecting it. “Roman is correct, your hands appear to be at a colder temperature than usual. Virgil, did you sleep at all last night?” 

The direct question puts Virgil a bit on the spot, and he tries once more in vain to get his hands back. Virgil gives up and shakes his head once. “Uh, no. I was up all night.”

Patton makes a soft sound. “Again honey?”

Virgil looks down at his lap, and tucks his hands into his pockets the second they’re free. “Uh, yeah.” 

Patton stands up and returns a few seconds later, putting a purple plate of pancakes in front of Virgil. And just like that, breakfast starts again. Logan and Roman both reach for the Crofter’s at the same time, causing a fight to break out. Patton is quick to pass another spoon, telling them with a loving smile to get along. Patton drowns his pancakes in syrup, and Roman laughs when he overflows the plate while Logan just groans. Patton drizzles some syrup on Virgil’s pancakes for him despite his weak protests, and the rest of breakfast continues on without issue. 

The day passes by in a blur, Virgil unable to focus. Going days on end without sleep is causing him to be a bit sluggish. All of the other sides notice, but Logan is the first to comment. 

They’re in the living room, lounging mostly. Patton is sitting cross legged on the floor, listening avidly to a dramatic story a standing Roman is telling about his latest adventure. Patton rests his chin in his hand, elbow propped up on his knee. He looks at Roman like he put the stars in the sky, which, if you count the numerous glow in the dark starts littering the ceiling throughout the mindscape, he did. Logan, sitting on the couch, has his face in a book, practically eating the words. Virgil is sitting on the back of the couch, his sock-covered feet on the cushions. Logan looks up from his book, studying Virgil. He adjusts his glasses for a moment before clearing his throat to get the anxious side’s attention. “Virgil, it would appear that your sleepless night has had a serious impact on your day. Perhaps a temporary sleep would help to ensure that you are properly functional?”

Virgil shakes his head, but Patton is quick to input. “Kiddo, Logan is right. A nap couldn’t hurt.”

Virgil just shakes his head again. “No, if I want to get any sleep tonight I’ll need to stay up.” It’s a total lie. Virgil had already tried to sleep again but couldn’t. There was no point in trying and getting even more frustrated. And he couldn’t sleep tonight. Even if he wanted to. But the others couldn’t know that. 

Roman fixes Virgil with a stare and then looks him up and down. “Are you sure, my love?”

Virgil nods this time. “Yeah, I’m okay. Now, back to your story.” And just like that, Roman is back into full story-telling mode, pantomiming his ‘epic’ battle with turns and twists, wielding an imaginary sword. Patton is engrossed in the tale, and Virgil slips back into his fog. 

Later, after a delicious dinner, Roman suggests they all watch a movie together. Roman and Logan immediately start to argue over which movie to watch, Cinderella or Big Hero 6. Patton stands in the middle of the quarreling lovers, saying that watching both is an option. Cinderella turns into Big Hero 6, which turns into Mulan, and then after that Tangled. 

By this time, it’s definitely late, and Virgil can feel the days of sleepless nights dragging his mind down the gutter. He fights himself to stay awake, knowing now that if he sleeps he’ll let the nightmares get to Thomas. He can’t fail his host, he has to keep him safe. 

Patton stretches out like a cat, even making paws with his hands and rubbing his head under Roman’s chin. “Alright kiddos, I think it’s time for bed.”

Roman yawns and nods his head. “You’re right Patton, it’s time for this prince’s beauty sleep.”

Logan stifles a yawn and stands, stretching just a bit. “Usually I would not retire so early as well, but considering the amount of work I have to complete on Thomas’s schedule tomorrow, an early night would be most beneficial.” He pauses, and three pairs of identical eyes turn on Virgil. 

“Virgil…” Patton ventures. “You going to bed to get some sleep?”

Virgil nods, another lie. “Yeah Pat, I’ll catch some sleep.”

Roman nods and stands up, pulling up Patton as well. He gives Patton kisses all over his face, making the moral trait squeal with glee. He moves over to Logan and gives him a soft kiss, gently cradling the logical trait’s face with one hand, then takes Virgil’s hand and guides him up the steps, Logan and Patton following. 

Roman kisses Virgil deeply at the door, opening it up behind him. Virgil pulls back from the intense trait, giving him a soft smile. Patton covers Virgil’s face in kisses just like Roman had done to him, and Logan gives him a short but calming kiss. The three of them then move down the hall to Roman’s room, where they’ve taken to sleeping since they’d gotten into the relationship. Virgil still sleeps alone. If the nightmares were to get out of control and he hurt the others… He shudders at the thought, closing the door behind himself and turning to his desk, mentally preparing for another late night. 

Yet again, sleep eludes Virgil, and he groans, his head thumping against his desk. The giant deathball in the sky is shooting blaring light into his room, and breakfast as long since came and went. He hopes that Patton isn’t too disappointed in him not joining them for the morning routine. He usually doesn’t, but the ecstatic look on the moral side’s face when Virgil shuffled in makes him feel guilty for skipping it all this time. Virgil decides to stay a bit longer in his room. 

After another day passing in a blur, Virgil drags himself back up into his room. He settles at his desk, just like this morning, and he rubs his temples and the back of his neck. He quickly gives up the weak attempt at soothing the muscles, anger getting the better of him. Somehow Logan’s hands always did it better. His mind is drawn back, as it always is when he’s on his own, to a darker time. A darker him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of backstory with Anxiety, Sleep and Deceit before Anxiety went 'upstairs' and became Virgil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: THERE IS SOME ABUSE IN THIS CHAPTER. DECEIT IS A PIECE OF ROASTED DONKEY DICK, DUDE. It's not like beating or anything, but it is implied. Plus some rougher-than-necessary pats and stuff. Some psychological and emotional abuse, as well. So, please be safe. I love you guys. Also this is hella un-edited so lemme know if you catch anything

Anxiety is miserable, hiding in his hood and pressing back into the couch, hoping to be eaten alive by the inanimate object. He hasn’t slept in days, and he feels like he’s about to snap. All he can seem to focus on is the splitting headache Deceit’s last round of “correction” had given him. The feeling in his bones that he couldn’t seem to shake makes him even more anxious, but he tries to keep it from spreading. Anxiety knows that if he goes to sleep this close to an attack he’ll only be consumed. 

Deceit strolls leisurely back into the commons of the lower levels, cooing at him. “Oh, poor Anxiety~ It appears that sleep is alluding you. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Anxiety wants to tell him in the most colorful words he can find that the only help Deceit can give him now is to take a long walk off a short pier, but he knows that angering the other Dark side will only end badly for him.

“No, I’ve got it,” he grumbles out, removing his hood before Deceit does it for him. 

“No, what?” Deceit’s voice is immediately icy, and Anxiety gulps, pulling his black jacket closer around himself. 

“No, sir.” The answer is quieter, more subdued, just the way Deceit likes him. The only way Deceit will like him. 

Deceit moves over to stand in front of Anxiety, ruffling his hair a bit. The trait knows better than to move away from Deceit’s ‘affections’. “Oh, Anxiety, you’re so good for me, you know that? My good boy~” Deceit laughs. The sound chills Anxiety to the core. He used to cling to the words, the beautiful lies Deceit would spin for him. 

He had to have known deep down it was all lies, but the way the fake words made him feel… Well, that was it. They made him feel. Feel good, and like he belonged. For years, he heeled at Deceit’s beck and call. He worshiped the very ground the snake slithered on, all because his words made Virgil warm in a way nothing had before. And that was what mattered. Now, all that matters is survival. Making it to the next day and trying to make himself less of a problem for those around him. The other Dark traits here and the Light traits in control upstairs. 

Deceit smooths a hand down Anxiety’s front and then pats his cheek a bit too roughly. Anxiety calmly takes it in stride, keeping quiet. The snake trait hates when he makes a fuss.

The caped man pulls back with a flourish and grins down at his little Anxiety, nodding to himself. He whips his cape around dramatically and leaves the room. 

Anxiety stays staring at the floor, trying to keep himself together. He pulls his hood back up around his head and resumes his efforts of being consumed by the cushions. A sound jolts him out of his stupor, and it’s only when he looks up that he realizes someone has been talking to him. 

“Oh honey, can you hear me?” 

Sleep, the function, is staring at him. His glasses push back his hair effortlessly, a cup clutched in one hand and his bag over his shoulder. 

Anxiety shakes his head a bit and wets his lips, trying to make his mouth work. “Yes, Sleep?” 

“Oh sugar, I was just trying to chat you up about this party last night but it seems I wasn’t the only one up.” Anxiety just nods dumbly, staring at him. “Girl, are you okay?”

Anxiety looks away, tucking further into his jacket. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Sleep just stares at him in disbelief before sitting down across from him on the couch, tucking his legs up onto the cushion and facing Anxiety. The other trait shifts a bit more so his feet are on the cushions, both now sitting sideways and facing each other. 

“Talk to mama. What’s going on?” Sleep’s openness has always had a soothing effect on the anxious trait. He appreciates his mannerisms, although he believes in anyone else it would make him pull his hair out. Over-the-top just isn’t his thing. 

Anxiety rolls his shoulders out. “Just can’t…”

“Sleep?” Sleep offers dryly, a smirk playing on his lips as he takes a sip of his drink.

“Yeah, I guess,” Anxiety says with a barely-there chuckle. 

“Well, I could always-”

Anxiety, however, is quick to cut him off. “N-no, that’s okay.” He doesn’t know if being Sleep helping him would make his nightmares worse or not, and he doesn’t want to think about it.

Sleep rolls his eyes and takes another sip. “Sugar, it’s okay. I’m not just Thomas’s sleep, y’know?”

The shadowed trait nods, but his anxiety refuses to let him sleep yet. “I know, but I got this.” 

Sleep slides off his shades, slipping the into the collar of his shirt. “Okay, then do you at least want some company?” His smirk is back.

The anxious trait nods his head once, and that’s all the sign Sleep needs before slipping into his story about some ‘killer party’.

The next night, after Deceit’s come and gone, Anxiety finds himself curled up on the couch in the same position with Sleep. He feels even more like shit, trying his hardest to keep it together. He couldn’t pass out as much as he tried all day, and now he has to stay on guard for the nightmares. Sleep is going on about a concert he went to, and for a second Anxiety wonders what’s outside the lower levels. 

“Well, what do you think? Awful, right?” Sleep’s voice cuts in.

“Oh, yeah, awful,” Anxiety agrees. 

Sleep smirks. “Anxiety, I haven’t said anything for about a minute.” Anxiety blinks numbly at him, not quite understanding. “I didn’t say anything that was awful. In fact, I was sitting here just being quiet, watching you.” 

Anxiety hides his face, embarrassed. “I’m sorry, Sleep, I just…” He feels close to tears, trying to keep them contained. His eyes burn, and his throat feels tight and almost sore.

Sleep makes a soft tutting sound. “Oh, sugar, you really need, well, me.” He smiles at his own joke, and the anxious trait is so sleep-deprived he laughs a bit, too.

“I- I know…” He feels that sun is just around the corner, and despite the screaming in him not to let it happen, he knows he needs Sleep. “I…” he trails off, not sure what to do.

Sleep scoots a bit closer to Anxiety, looking at him with a concerned and gentle look. “Honey, can I help you?”

Anxiety bites into his lip, warring with himself. “I- I just- Please?” he almost whimpers. 

“Well, come here then, girl,” Sleep says, his light tone soothing the anxious trait more. Anxiety looks around, uncertain where to be, and Sleep just pats his lap. Anxiety lays down gingerly and even more cautiously lays his head in Sleep’s lap. 

Sleep slowly, letting Anxiety see, moves his hand onto Anxiety’s cheek, and Anxiety falls blissfully into blackness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan, Patton and Roman try to help Virgil sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This is a pretty quick update, but I felt bad for making you guys wait over a week with the second chapter. 
> 
> THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SWEET COMMENTS! I LOVE READING AND INTERACTING WITH YOU GUYS, IT MAKES WRITING WORTH IT AND INSPIRES ME SO MUUUUUCH. Thank you guys!
> 
> So here, have this... thing. I think it's a chapter. Hope ya like! (Again, heckin' un-edited, so if you catch something please holler, thanks!)

Sleeping Beauty is playing on the TV, and the irony makes Virgil chuckle bitterly. He takes his spot on the couch, picks at dinner, and tries his best to focus on The Black Cauldron. He doesn’t know when the TV has changed, but it has. 

The movie passes in yet another blur, and by the end of it the sun has gone down and night reigns. Logan flicks off the TV, and Patton moves to stand in front of Virgil. “Kiddo?” he ventures softly.

Virgil makes eye contact with the moral trait, blinking at him. Patton makes a soft sound and puts a hand on his cheek. Virgil doesn’t feel it as much as he normally would, almost as if Patton is wearing gloves. Roman comes up. “We know you didn’t sleep last night, either.” Virgil worriedly shoots his gaze to the creative side’s. 

Logan rests a hand on his shoulder, and he would normally feel a bit calmer under the warm and steady weight of it. However, it just puts him more on edge. “You must maintain some semblance of sleep, Virgil. Continuing like this is incredibly unhealthy. I understand that we are not humans, but we are also not without drawbacks. You must maintain a certain standard of self-care in order to help Thomas.”

Virgil wants to laugh and say he does what he does to keep Thomas safe, but he knows the logical trait simply won’t understand, so he settles for another lie. “I know Logan, and I’ll get some sleep tonight.” 

Roman looks over Virgil. “We know you will, and this time it will be for certain.”

Virgil narrows his eyes slightly, wondering how they’ll be so certain when a voice cuts through the commons. 

“Girl, it’s been five-ever!”

Sleep.

Shit.

Virgil looks between his three boyfriends and to Remy, the sleep function. They can’t be serious. And they can’t make him sleep, either. He has to keep Thomas safe. He can’t sleep. Sleep will only bring worse terrors. He can’t. 

The man looks as good as ever, hair blown back perfectly, drink and bag in place. Not a single thing has changed, not even clothes, since he’s last seen him. He greets each of the traits in turn, saying hello to Virgil last. Virgil then starts to squirm a bit in his coat. “Hey Remy,” he ventures quietly. 

“Girl, it has been too long! How are you, sugar? Probably not well, since I’ve been asked to come and help out.” Remy laughs lightly, pushing his sunglasses further up on his head. 

Virgil shakes his head, dark hair swishing in front of his face. “No, really, that’s not necessary, I-”

Logan cuts him off. “Virgil, it has come to all of our attentions that your lack of sleep is causing you serious bodily harm. We simply cannot continue to allow this to happen, for yours or Thomas’s sake. We have to ensure your safety, and since sleep continues to evade you, we brought the function here personally to assist in your endeavors.”

“It’s for your own good, kiddo,” Patton chimes in quietly, not being his usual loud and bubbly self. 

Virgil shakes his head more. “No, it’s fine, you guys. I can handle this by myself. You don’t understand-”

“We understand you need sleep,” Roman interrupts. “We know that your lack of sleep is making you sick, and it’s hurting you. You need to sleep, Virgil.” Roman takes Virgil’s hand and kisses the back of it. The kiss almost stings. Virgil tries to back up, but Roman is faster, looping his arm other around the anxious trait’s. “You need this, and no matter how much it pains us to do this, we need to help you.” It’s a whisper against the back of his knuckles, but he hears it nonetheless. 

Logan moves in next to Virgil, and it’s only then, too late, that he realizes what they plan on doing. He can’t go to sleep. “Logan, Roman, please, I don’t need this. I can handle it only own. I really can’t-”

Logan catches Virgil’s other arm, and Roman’s tightens. Virgil starts to struggle, fight or flight kicking in. His mind starts to conjure up visions of his nightmares, and he tries desperately to fight. Their grip is just too tight, and Virgil can’t shake it. He tugs violently on their hold, but it’s not working. He feels weaker in their grasp, like his life is draining from him. Oh god, they can’t-

He screams as Roman’s body begins to twitch. Black charred scales begin creeping up rapidly over his tan skin, and sharp spines and spikes start shredding his back and shoulders, ripping out. His face remains the same, just barely tinged at the edges, and Virgil screams again. Logan undergoes the same transformation, turning into a nightmare. Virgil’s skin starts turning black where they hold him, and his struggles intensify. He watches the tide of darkness consume his pale flesh, creeping up tauntingly. His skin feels on fire with pins and needles, chills and burns running up and down his spine and into his brain. Remy stalks towards him, morphing into a laughing Deceit.

“Uh oh, Anxiety, looks like your nightmares got out after all~” Deceit laughs, putting curled hands up to his chin. His snake face twists into the most cruel grin Virgil has ever seen, even in his nightmares. His makes his spine shiver, and he has to bite back a sob. 

Deceit raises a hand, brushing his knuckles across Virgil’s face. It makes his skin flare, his heart race, and his mind short out. A purely animalistic scream rips from the anxious trait's throat, layered with hissing laughter that rattles the dead.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *squealing* 
> 
> I CAN NOT BELIEVE HOW MANY SWEET COMMENTS YOU GUYS HAVE LEFT ME. 
> 
> LIKE. GOD. 
> 
> THANK YOOOOOUUUU!
> 
> Okay, now that that's out of the way, this chapter has some anxiety and shit so, yeah. Be careful my dudes. 
> 
> Also un-edited so if you catch something, holler at your dude. Thanks!

Down the hall, Patton wakes with a start. He bolts up in bed, and Roman is there immediately, holding him close. Logan sits up and flicks on the lamp.

 

“Pat…?” the creative side starts, overlapping with the logical side’s “Did you hear-?”

 

“Something is wrong with Virgil. I heard a scream,” he hurriedly explains, despite the fact that the others heard it too, all of them wrestling their way out of bed. All three of them quickly rush out of the bedroom, sprinting for Virgil’s room. A cold air surrounds the door, and they barge in without a single second thought.

 

Virgil is in the middle of the room, his knees pressed up into his face and his arms quivering with the force he’s using to hold himself together. Roman and Logan rush forward and grab him, each trying to pull him to his feet by his arms. His skin is frozen, and Roman gasps as he tries to wrangle a better hold. Virgil cries out again, coming to just barely.

 

All Virgil can see is Logan and Roman gasping his arms, and the panic intensifies. He knows he’s awake, and his nightmare is about to come true. He starts screaming again in his Panic Voice, struggling hard in their grip. The room echoes with his shouts. Roman and Logan, not understanding that their love is partially awake, grip him tighter, trying to keep him from crashing into any of the furniture with his flailing. They’re both talking to him in low and soothing voices, desperately trying to calm their dark boyfriend. Their voices fall on Virgil’s deaf ears. He continues to panic, feeling even more like he’s being burned from the inside out. His breath claws out of his throat, each being followed by another cry.

 

Virgil can’t get them to let go. He can’t get them to listen. It’s all he can think. He keeps kicking and thrashing as hard as his tired body can. He can’t let his nightmares come true. They’re coming true. The nightmares are going to get Thomas and Logan and Patton and Roman and he can’t let that happen and he’s failed and- His thoughts break off with another loud scream, trying to get himself across to them but trapped behind a fog of unadulterated panic.

 

Logan stares more intently at Virgil’s face, and it finally clicks that he’s somewhat awake. “Patton- Patton get Sleep!” He continues his hold on the anxious trait, knowing he’s not awake enough to be talked down. 

 

Roman looks at Logan with a shocked expression. “What? He’s already asleep!”

 

Logan growls in frustration. “No, he’s not. He’s awake, partially, and suffering from being pushed beyond the point of sleeplessness that a body can take. Combined with the obvious nightmare and his predisposition for anxiety, it has caused this to go far over to the other side of the curve. He needs ACTUAL sleep, a deep and full rest. Putting him to sleep is the only way to stop this.”

 

Roman growls back at Logan. “You know pressure points. Can’t you just knock him out?”

 

Logan flicks his eyes to Patton, frustrated beyond belief that he hasn’t moved to do as Logan told him. “No, he needs to enter the stages of sleep properly, which his body is unable to do after so many days of not obtaining any rest. Patton, go!” He immediately feels regret for snapping, but he doesn’t have any way to get him to move.

 

Patton bolts from the room, feeling guilty that the only way to help his love is to force him into unconsciousness. It feels like an eternity to Roman and Logan that he’s gone -though it was probably less than a minute- till he returns with Remy in tow.

 

Logan sighs in relief. “Sleep, thank you. I hope Patton has filled you in,” he says quickly, trying to keep his grasp on the still-panicked Virgil. Virgil’s cries have grown in volume and pitch, his thrashing increasing in tandem with it.

 

Patton bites his lip and turns away from the scene. He can’t watch Virgil like this, as much as he wants to rush forward and make it better, he knows he can’t and they have to do this. He trusts Logan to do what’s best.

 

Sleep takes a step back upon seeing Virgil the way he is, and a lot clicks into place for him about why Deceit continually kept him on a tight leash. Having this power to use and abuse, at that twisted bastard’s beck and call… It makes Remy shudder. But he continues on, moving forward to the standing Logan and Roman, who have the struggling Anxiety between them.

 

“I can’t get close to that,” he says, looking at Anxiety flail. A black eye is NOT on his agenda. And bruised shin would totally stop him from walking to that concert later.

 

Logan and Roman exchange a look, and at the same time both sit, dragging Virgil down to sit in between them. He’s harder to contain now that he’s got more ground to kick out at, and the two traits struggle to pin one of Virgil’s legs with their own. They keep him upright between the two of them, trying to keep him contained.

 

Virgil feels himself dropping, and no, not the darkness, please- Wait, he’s got solid ground underneath him. He can do this. He can get free if he tries hard enough. He has to for his loves and his host. He loves them too much not to. He looks at Logan and Roman, shadows twisting their faces. They pin his legs down, and he can’t move. No, he can’t move. He can’t move he can’t move he can’t move fight fight fightfightfight-

 

A face appears over his, and he recognizes Sleep. No, that’s Deceit in disguise again. No, get away! Get away! He screams out, trying to scare away Deceit.

 

Remy leans over Virgil, and he immediately starts screaming louder. “ **GO! GO AWAY DECEIT! NO! NO NO NO! GET THE FUCK BACK!** ” His Panic Voice causes the very room to shake, forcing the other sides into overdrive.

 

Roman looks over to Logan, and Logan just keeps his focus on holding Virgil’s leg down. The anxious trait has found renewed strength, and keeping him down is a massive fight. His struggling breaks his lovers’ hearts, but they have to. For him. It’s the only thing keeping the logical trait and the romantic from breaking down at the sight of their sweet emo shattering.

 

Remy shushes the dark trait softly, putting his hands on his cheeks. Virgil stills for barely a moment. Then another cry leaves his lips, startling the others. Remy closes his eyes, focusing all he can. Softly, as if Virgil is made of the frailest glass, he kisses the sobbing trait. The kiss lasts just a few seconds, but it’s enough. He easily supports Virgil’s head with both hands delicately as the anxious trait stills and falls, thankfully, asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know whatcha think! Thankies~


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all of the support I've gotten through this! Writing is something I enjoy, but was too nervous to really put myself and my works out there. But all the comments, kudos, all of the loving support I've received has given me a better reason to write! So, thank you! Hope ya like!

As soon as it’s over, Patton throws himself onto Virgil, crying into the sleeping side’s chest. “Oh, God, I- I didn’t know…”

Roman clasps a grounding hand on Patton’s shoulder. “It’s alright, mi alma. He is safe now.” He shoots a look at Logan.

“Yes, he should return to a relatively normal state.”

“So, what the heck just happened?” Remy questions.

Logan quickly fills him in on the past few days and Virgil’s sleepless nights in more detail than Patton had time for while cuddling the crying trait close. Logan still believes himself a miserably comforter, but the way Patton melts against him speaks volumes. 

Roman presses an appreciative kiss to Remy’s cheek. “Thank you.”

Remy grins. “Don’t sweat it, girl. But you’re SO doing my makeup for this festival next week.” Roman just grins back. 

The next day, when Virgil wakes up, he comes to with a soft cry. He immediately tries to find out where he is, the familiar dark walls no where to be found. Hands grab him, and he starts to panic, again. 

“Virgil, love, it’s us.” 

Patton?

Patton.

Patton! 

Virgil turns towards the voice and smashes into the owner. Patton, used to Roman’s spirited affection and quite versed in giving his own, easily avoids being bowled over. “We’re here, baby boy. You’re okay.”

Virgil looks around, noticing for the first time that they’re all on a massive bed. Even Remy has a spot on the mattress. Virgil is still in his regular clothes, but the other sides are all in boxers and tee shirts. “What happened? Did they- did they get out?” 

Roman leans over and kisses Virgil softly. “No, princesa, everyone is alright. You, well, uh-” He looks at Logan, lost.

Logan adjusts his glasses. “You had pushed yourself past the normal amount of sleeplessness a body can endure. Whenever you had begun to dream, it threw you into a full-blown night terror. We asked Remy to come in and assist in helping you achieve a full sleep cycle.”

Virgil pauses, chewing on the words. Half-baked memories come back to him, piecing themselves together until he has the full picture. “How long have I been asleep?”

At this, Roman looks to Remy. “About a day,” the function answers. 

Virgil just stares at Remy, trying to understand his answer. “A whole day?”

“Yeah, sugar. A whole day. Not like a coma or anything. But girl, you needed some serious sleep. And that’s just what I’m for, babe!” Remy grins at him. 

Virgil shakes his head for a second. “And, nothing happened?”

“No, nothing got out, Virgil. I believe that the nightmares you were afraid of escaping were actual projections caused by your increased anxiety and lack of sleeplessness. A regular sleep schedule and keeping yourself in a more gentle setting may assist in these attempts.” 

Patton kisses the logical trait. “You’re so smart, Lo.” Logan smirks and kisses Patton again. 

“How do you think I do that? I can’t just make that happen, Lo,” Virgil grumbles, a bit defensive. 

“Well babe, that’s where we come in!” 

“Yes!” Roman joins in with Sleep. “We have a plan to make that all better!” Virgil looks them both over and nods at them to continue. “Well, we start by moving you into my room with the rest of us.” Virgil immediately goes to protest, but Roman cuts him off. “Logan did some good research-y type stuff and it’s proven that cuddling and sleeping with others, especially those you love, can do some serious good.”

“But what if I get sensory overload? What if I kick? What if I start having a nightmare?” The questions are rapid-fire.

“To begin, if you encounter sensory overload, we will move you to an add-on that we have adjusted.” Logan points behind him, and Virgil leans up to look behind him. Attached to the edge of the bed is a half-circle platform, the edge of the add-on raised to form a foot high wall around it. “The wall is there to ensure you don’t’ injure yourself by falling off of the bed. Patton is quite skilled at it.” Patton blushes. “I hope it’s satisfactory?” 

Virgil crawls his way over to it. “Will it move and stuff?”

Roman shakes his head. “This is an entirely new bed. That add-on is perfectly secure and part of the mattress. And the rectangle base mattress is much larger as well, to make plenty of space for everyone.” Virgil smiles and curls up on the half-circle part. It’s incredibly soft, and he immediately feels… good. 

“To address your other concerns, you can’t kick worse than Patton.” Patton looks down with a sheepish grin. “And your nightmares are something we will handle if they come about. We can move you to the add-on if you’re not already there, and if you are then we can go through methods of comfort to assist in making them more bearable.”

“Alright, but what about sleeping? A new schedule? I can’t just do that.”

“Ah, that’s my part, girl! I can help you to sleep at night until you start getting all better and stuff!” Remy looks quite proud of himself. 

“Are you guys sure about this?” Virgil is incredibly uncertain, but he’s trying not to show it. 

Patton reaches over and takes his hand. “Virge, honey, we’re sure about you. We love you with all our butts!”

Logan coughs softly. “All our hearts, dear.”

“I know what I said, Logan. I’d say my heart, but my butt is bigger.”

Roman laughs, long and loud, and things suddenly don’t seem so bad anymore. 

That night, Virgil is cuddled in-between Logan and Roman, Patton curled up against Logan’s back. Remy is on Roman’s other side, and every now and again he’ll run a hand through Virgil’s hair. After about an hour of lounging and cuddling, Virgil starts drifting off. Remy brushes his fingers through the anxious trait’s hair once more, and smiles to himself as the gentle trait falls peacefully asleep. 

And eventually, Remy doesn’t need to help him sleep. The function stays close, though, already comfortable in the routine of not sleeping alone. There are still bad nights, where the nightmares come, and he gets overloaded, and it’s too much. But his loves are there for him, holding him close or giving him space, and being everything that they could ever be for him. 

So when Virgil goes to bed, he no longer dreads it. He curls up to Logan or Roman or Patton or Remy. He listens to Roman talk in his sleep, Logan mumble, Patton softly snore and Remy hum. He feels the warmth of those around him, loving him, tender and soft and everything love is supposed to be. And if some nights he purposefully stays awake, it’s not out of fear, but love. Just a few more moments listening to those around him and losing himself in the way being truly cherished feels. He doesn’t worry about missing a bit of sleep. He can sleep soundly later, surrounded by those who make it all worth it, each day and every night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for everything! I hope my first attempt at angst went over well. I appreciate all the great comments and awesome support on the adventure. Thank you guys!
> 
> If you liked this, I have another story that I wrote in one go in a late-night binge that I'm updating regularly. Thank you so much!


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